Folks, I'll be honest. I don't have the cash, the desire, or the time to buy all my loved ones, aquaintances, and alledged cousins pieces of crap this holiday season. Plus, isn't the world in an economic apocalypse? TV news has gotten so bad with reporting the financial woes that last night Brian Williams closed out the NBC Nightly News by asking if any of his viewers could spare five bucks for bus fare.
So, come on. Let's all agree to just cool it on buying gifts this year. I know you were all excited about filling shopping bags up and spending lots of office-work earned cash. But let's be honest a lot of the stuff we give is some plastic junk that's only purpose is to serve as a place holder for affection, sentiment, and flamboyance. It's true, folks. We spend all this time agonzing on what to give Jimmy at work, and every year we get him something that wastes our money, his time, and our planet's precious resources which are dwindling at a devastating rate of about two bobble heads a day. By 2013 the bobble head population will be struck down to 300.
Just because you can't buy crappy doo-dads doesn't mean you can't give gifts. Here are some ideas to save the holidays, your repuation, and some greenbacks:
- Sing a song
- Leave a funny voicemail
- Bring back the art of macaroni sculptures!
- Send an amusing e-mail forward, preferably the one with old Olan Mills photos and witty commentry
- Cook someone a meal
- Give away all the books you don't read
- Dispence unsolicited advice
- Decorate Your House with Drawings
- Get ride of the cockroaches in my apartment
- Create a boardgame out of old cardboard, construction paper, and outstanding credit cards
- Put on a talent show
- Vote for Me (please)
Eddie McOwskey, Candidate for New Jersey State Governors
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1 comment:
This is actually a really, legitimately good idea!
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