EDDIE-TORIAL: The Al Franken(Berry) Recount

Dear Folks,

I don't know if you've been keeping up to date with politics post election. I barely have and I'm a politician (running for New Jersey State Governors--please vote for me). But in a little tiny, forgotten, cold, off the beaten path, bizarre, unruly, and dainty state called Minnesotas, there's an election still going on for the United States Senate (or as I like to call it the United States House of Lords--the vestigal tail of an electoral college aristocracies who debate issues of philosophies, candors, and nuances while the lowly U.S. House of Commons fixes the potholes and regulates what goes into our Cheetos and beloved Holiday Chex Mix).

Folks, Al Franken, a comedian, movie star, and man with extremely large head (seriously, folks, I don't know what he does with that thing--the man's dandruff orbits his skull like a ring of Saturn) is currently embroiled in a recount with some other Senate bum, I think his name is Coleman. Anyway, there was a difference of a couple votes and due to Minnesota's crazy laws this activates an automatic recount. But they can't recount the votes until November 18 because up until then all the vote counters are "busy."

I'm sure Al Franken would make a fine Senator--all of his kooky characters would be right at home in the great live comedy sketch show that is our country's capitol. But an issue that I have with him is that he has never once commented to his ties with the controversial cereal box children's character Frankenberry. They have similar names folks. And if you focus on the glasses--I think ole Frankenberry is wearing glasses, they look kind of the same. My questions to Mr. Franken(berry):

• Did you invent Frankenberry in a lab using samples of dead tissues?
• If so, after creating an artificial man (or woman--I think Frankenberry has painted nails), why turn him over the cereal industries, aren't there other venues for your creation?
• What's the deal with Frankenberry anyway? I can't exactly tell what's going on.
• Why'd you invent Frankenberry, Senator Franken? You have no idea how many times I thought I was watching a cartoon as a child and it turned out to be a commercial for a cereal I wasn't allowed to eat. You have no idea.