Dear Folks,The other day I was skipping down the streets making my merry ways when I accidentally stepped on my shoelace and untied it. It was raining out and the shoelace had become completely soaked. As I walked down the street, battling the elements with assuredness and pleiostitude the untied shoelace smacked against my other shoe. By now the shoelace was like a wet wip. I was tired and in no mood to bend over. But I knew I could make it home with this untied shoelace without injury or alarm.
However, in the pitted echelons of my soul, I knew that some person, probably an old man in a plaid jacket or an elderly woman with a shopping cart, would notice my harmless shoelace, be bothered, then stop and alert me that my shoelace was untied, obligating me to attend to this frivoulous matter out of respect for the Greatest Generation. In no way would I ever be allowed to walk down the street with an untied shoelace and be accepted as normal or decent or deserving of respect for my choice.
As Governor of New Jerseys, I'd like to work towards removing all stigma from untied shoelaces. As the Beatles said "Let it be."
Furthermore, if citizens are bothered by untied shoelaces I would sign into legislation a government agency committed to tying people's shoes for them. Thhis agency would also be in charge of putting away people's groceries after they got home. Who can be bothered, folks?
Posts
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment